The Best (and Weirdest) Football Card Designs Ever

Published: February 27, 2014

These aren’t your grandpappy’s cards. These cards are just weird. They’re so weird in fact, that I find them awesome! These cards will sit in my collection for years to come, and I'd love to share these unique and unusual treasures right here on EveryBestOf.com.

 

Here’s a quick glimpse into my weird football card collection, ranked by weird-awesomeness from 5th to 1st. The list's "1." is actually my #5, and so on, like a countdown list from least to most weird/awesome.

  1. The 1997 Pinnacle V2 with die-cut edges, motion-picture, protective covering... What a mess. Love it.

    Pinnacle decided one day that it would be a great idea to ker-smash together every feature a football card could possibly have into one giant mess called the V2. To be fair, I actually sorta liked this card back way when. When I pulled this card from a pack, I felt as if I had just pulled like, ten different rare die-cut holographic sparkling awesome cards all at once!

     

    Like, literally. It's like pulling a stack of 10 cards glued together into a 1/4" thick conglomeration of wtf-ness.

     

    The card is so thick that it stuck to the card sleeve. A piece of blue ink chipped off from some of the "PEEL OFF" stamps. You can probably also tell that an entire corner of the protective cover got stuck at one point also. And the cover probably isn't even necessary. The card designers probably just added that for the sheer hell of it.  And to make it dumber.

  2. Game Worn Jersey cards - Cool or Just Creepy?

    I personally love the idea of owning game-used sports memorabilia. I could never afford an entire jersey just to hang on my wall as a kid, so this was the next best thing. The problem is, were these really worn by the players? Does that mean I now own a little piece of jersey with a drip of Jake Plummer's bellybutton sweat???

     

    I sure hope not. And anyway, rumor has it that these "Game Worn" jersey snippets are just pieces of random jerseys picked up at a local Walmart. I mean really, did Jake Plummer keep his jersey pristine and spotless throughout an entire game? Did he just put it on once and then take it off to have it cut up for the card company?

     

    I've discovered the true face of Jesus in the Arizona Cardinals' own little Shroud of Turin! Wait a second, Cardinals? Priests? Football coaches? Whoa what a connection! Why, in recent news, they've all.. become well known for fondling little kids. Is that like, part of their worship ritual or something?

    Welp, I don't want this card anymore. It's up on eBay. For $1. I don't wanna see it ever again. I'm serious, it's listed now for $1. Just take it. Go now!

  3. Topps Stadium Club TRIUMVIRATE!

    Let's forget about that Law and Order SVU-ish card. Instead, check this out!

    Now that's just awesome! The 1998 Stadium Club Triumvirate cards were among the coolest cards to collect in the 90s! But they were also the most annoying. Collectors had to gut through pack after pack after pack to find matching cards. The odds of finding just one card was 1:12 packs. Not bad, but on top of that was the fact that each team had its own set. It was hell trying to collect all three players from a friggin team! Argghh! So, I gave up looking. One day I just bought a premade set from a card store. Bam.

     

    When you finally get that last missing player piece out of the pack, and you connect them all together for the first time, BAM! It feels good. I wouldn't know. Jajajaja

     

    The details are amazing!!

     

    And here's the same card by my desk lamp, the source of light that revealed the Arizona Cardinals' Shroud of Turin. Wait. Wait. Why is there a hand-shaped hole underneath Jeff George's crotch? Run Mr. George! Run before they score a touch, I mean a touchdown. Down there.

  4. GEMS of the NFL 1997 Pro Line Gems SB

    Whoa, 23k gold? That's like, better than 14k gold, but worse than 24k gold, right? Wrong. It's paper and gold coloring. So ignoring that, let's take a closer look at the green stone near the bottom of the card.

     

    An emerald!

     

    Whoa! Yes, it's not very sparkly, and it's not cut particularly nicely, but hey, it's an emerald! Other card variations had Sapphires, so that's cool too. The Brett Farve GEMS of the NFL card had a diamond. The card has an image of him wearing his Super Bowl ring, and that's where the diamond was placed on the card. Here's an image of the card:

     

     

     

    Oh right. I don't own that $2,000 card. Shucks.

  5. The one you've been waiting for. Listen to this!

    Literally, listen to the card!

    Simply, epic.

     

    The 1997 Upper Deck SP Authentic PowerDeck CD cards (*whew*) were absolutely insane! Who comes up with these things?

     

    Anyway, that first picture doesn't show the proper way to setup the "CD". You first need to attach the card to a special PowerDeck disc.

    Oh crap, it just fell behind my desk.

     

    There it is.

     

    So, it's a piece of clear plastic with a hole drilled out the center? I paid for this nonsense and everything.

     

    This seems awkward, and it is.

    I'm not sure how the card manages to stick. It must be something in the disc plastic, like, a voodoo spell.

    At last, hit the Play button! So, what kind of content does this amazing "CD" have? It has about 30 seconds of gibberish, mostly advertising for PowerDeck. Oh, and a little info about Troy Aikman. What a gimmick. Back behind the desk you go.

So yeah. Cardinals.

With a lack of better ideas for a conclusion paragraph, how about I simply conclude my BestOf list with a bonus card! Here's an autographed Roger Craig card!

Find the autograph, and I'll give you a cookie.

 

Found it! A cookie for me! No cookie for Roger Craig, because he signed the wrong side of the card. 2,000 times.

 

 

Good.