5 Random Things to Watch on Netflix Right Now
Bored? I am jealous. My greatest wish for this afternoon is that I could lay on the couch, bored, and peruse through some Netflix. Instead I am nursing a soul crushing hangover which is threatening to plunge my entire being into a state of despair that I may never recover from. Anyway. We can both still watch some Netflix. Here's what I recommend.
The Price of Gold
This is a documentary about Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan. Since today is the last day of the Olympics, we should celebrate in spirit by watching some silly drama that happened years ago and is completely irrelevent today. Also Tonya Harding lives in my town, has gotten very fat, racked up a few DUIs and had a domestic disturbance at her home recently. I recommend this because her life is more tragic than mine, and that makes me feel better and it should make you feel better too. Unless you are Tonya. Maybe skip this one.
Phineas and Ferb: Across the 2nd Dimension
This is a pretty good movie based off a pretty good TV show aimed at children and stoners. There are lots of in-jokes so you might want to start watching a few episodes first to get a feel for the characters, but also pay attention to Doofenshmirtz, because he is a great character. I wouldn't expect less, considering these fine folks did Rocko's Modern Life first.
This is a great Indy comedy/drama bullshit about a hermaphradite who has both a fork and a spoon, so to speak. (S)he also can't dance until her learning montage later in the film, and then (s)he busts out some sweet moves, but it doesn't bring her dead mom back. It's charming as fuck.
This is a documentary about a bunch of pretentious assholes who like to get drunk on wine and spout off garbage nonense about how their glass of alcohol reminds them of wet cement or rotting moth carcasses. Then they go off to Europe to try and impress even more pretentious assholes that they can tell you where a particular glass of wine's grapes were grown in the world, and basically everyone just makes a bunch of shit up. It will make you want to drink wine out of a thermos, just to prove to yourself you aren't these people.
Animal Odd Couples
Perhaps if I finish on this and watch a hamster and a duck who are best buddies and cross the street together and frolic in leaves like true pals, I can uplift my spirit enough to convince me to drink some water. I won't be walking on sunshine anytime soon, but at least I might return to some semblance of humanity if these stupidly cute animals can weasel their way into my being. Like rabies. This won't solve your boredom issue but it will heal your weary heart a bit.
I don't know why Netflix gets such a bad rap for not having anything good to watch. It literally costs you mere cents per day, and it holds a treasure trove worth of endless entertainment to ruin any amount of productivity you were hoping to get our of Saturday afternoon. Its only downside is it does not have every episode of Project Runway, which is the top form of entertainment this planet has come up with thus far.
What do you call a bunch of whales who play intsruments?
An orca-stra. BAM! Entertained.