The Five Best Lesbian Movies of all time.

Published: December 3, 2013

These are the 5 best lesbian movies/programs of all time, in my opinion. Good lesbian movies are hard to find, as the ones which have good love scenes tend to be made by women themselves. Women tend to take themselves far too seriously, and it shows in their films. But not all lesbian movies are made by women, and not all women who make lesbian films suck at it.  Read further, if you dare.

  1. Fingersmith

    Fingersmith. Based on a book, it is set in old England. Rich girl meets poor thief, and each tries to scam the other. They fall in love, and the love survives the scamming. Hot scenes. This one is a real shocker, because it is actually a very good story. It';s like something an English M. Night Shyamalan would make. It will seriously remind you of him, what with the big surprise twist.

  2. Tipping the Velvet

    Tipping the Velvet. Based on a book by the same author who wrote Fingersmith. Warm scenes, but way overproduced. Old England again, show business with a gender-bending slant. Poor girl hits the big time, gets scammed, hits bottom, rises again tot he top. Finds love on the way. Classic tale, new faces. But it's classic for a reason: it's good.

  3. Desert Hearts

    Classic about a frigid middle-aged woman who goes to Reno in the 50s or 60s to get a quickie divorce. She camps at a dude ranch, meets casino worker Kay Rivers, and sparks fly. Our frigid divorcee-to-be thaws quite nicely. One of the hottest bed scenes in lesbian movies. The women look real, there is no raunchy dress or dance, and the only cursing I remember is someone took the Lord's name in vain. Good stuff.

  4. It's in the Water

    I chose this one for the following reasons: the brunette is hot, the scenes are short and few but toasty, and there is actual comedy! Hallelujah. Something that is sorely lacking in lesbian movies. And everyone likes to laugh, don't they? I know I sure do.

  5. The Color Purple

    Most people don't think of this one as a lesbian movie, but what do you call it when the leads are both female, and have a romance? And there was a tiny bit of warmth between Goldberg and Avery in their one short kissing scene. At least that's the way I remember it from when I was 13. Of course, watching dogs do it made me warm back then. And mice, and flies, and squirrels, and praying mantises...

Anyhoo, it is my very firm opinion that these movies are the best that lesbian-themed cinema has to offer. The characters aren't on narcissistic trips which make the movies look like the filmmaker's Mary Sue movie. There is comedy in some places in some of these movies, and there is also a little sexiness, for those of us who simply must have it. Who wants bread without cheese and ham? Get it all from these lesbian sandwiches. (And don't get pissed at me for not mentioning 'Who Kiled Sister George' or 'Lianna'. I can't cram 'em all in there.)