The Top Ten Scariest Monsters in Cabin in the Woods

Published: December 24, 2014

This list breaks down the top ten scariest monsters in the movie "Cabin in the Woods." The ranking is based on how scary the monster is, how horrible it would be to be killed by the monster, and how hard it would be to kill the monster.

  1. Fornicus

    represented as a leather wearing man with circular saw blades embedded in his skull, this hellish monster is a satire of the very popular Pinhead from the Hellraisers series. he is deemed the "Lord of Bondage and Torture," and takes delight in brutally torturing victims so that they suffer a slow and painful death. he does it all with a statue like composure and unblinking soulless black eyes. he is one of the first "cube monsters" seen in the film, and also reveals to the characters what the audience has known all along. They chose their own fate in this hellish nightmare.

  2. The Doctors

    These medical personnel are seen in the movie for only a split second on a computer monitor. though they are not a crucial monster in the movie they still take the number two spot because they are scary as hell. the idea of mad doctors have been done to death in horror cinematography, but it is still scary every time. the idea of being physically or pharmaceutically restrained while a deranged doctor performs surgery on your living body is a very real fear.A death at the hands of these psycos would be the most agonizing second only to the Lord of Torture himself.

  3. The Sugarplum Fairy

    From behind this little sprite looks like a sweet preteen ballerina. However, when she turns around you get a lovely view of her horrendous face made entirely of rows and rows of sharp and hungry teeth. The combination of adorably creepy and deadly is enough for her to get the third spot on this list. While we don't get to witness her murdering anyone in the film, we do get to see her beautiful ballet routine. Clearly she enjoys performing for her dead and partially consumed audience members. Though i can't say it's a show that i would care to attend.

  4. the Killer Clown

    ANother obvious copycat, this clown resembles Stephen King's Pennywise the Clown from his novel IT. And while Pennywise the Clown is one of the most iconic clowns in horror history this guy might take a close second. There is something unnerving about clowns, whether it's the fake smile painted on their face, or the fact that they drag children into the sewer to eat their souls. Either way normal everyday clowns can be terrifying to some, but this is no normal everyday clown. This is a knife wielding, manically laughing, bullet deflecting clown. Maybe he could be killed with a bullet to the brain, but because none of his victims lived long enough to try it...i guess we'll never know.

  5. Killbot

    The murdering robot i have taken to calling Killbot is so scary because it's technology. unlike the "living" monsters, Killbot would never tire, it would not feel pain if you attacked it, and it would show no mercy if you begged for your life. With its crazy speed and multiple deadly weapons, the Killbot makes short work of it's victims. It would be very difficult to outrun, and even more difficult to get close enough to damage it without being hacked to bits. i guess if you could hid long enough, or outrun it until it runs out of gas than maybe you stand a chance, but it's unlikely.

  6. Angry Molesting Tree

    For those of you who havn't seen the movie "Evil Dead," there is an iconic scene where some poor girl in the woods is physically "assaulted" by a tree. She is pinned down by some branches while other branches... well you get the idea. The tree in Cabin in the Woods assaults victims in a similar manner, presumably. We only get to see the tree reach out and grab a man, pulling him into the elevator cube. While this would be a horrendous way to die, it is clear from the amount of blood pouring from the elevator that at least you die quickly.

  7. Dragon Bat

    One of the more "important" cube monsters seen in the film, Dragon Bat is seen attacking multiple victims.  He abreaks through the  window of the control room and forces the characters out into the facility. He also creates a large hole in the wall that the characters use to escape by. Besies its mouth it looks like a bat just much larger, faster, and stronger. On the positive side with its supersonic screech, pinpoint accuracy, and lightening speed a death by Dragon bat would be fast and relatively painless. On the downside, if Dragon Bat had been the "chosen" monster the film would have been a lot shorter.

  8. Giant Snake/ Ginat Tarantula

    I'm combining the two of these together because they are both so similar. First there is no way to determine which movie these creatures were based on because the choices are two numerous. Secondly i think that they are both equally dangerous and hard to kill. the idea of either a these giant monsters creeping around my house in the dark is enough to freak me out. the only nice thing i cna say is that these creatures are not mean or spiteful. they simply kill because it is in their nature to do so. Are they really nosters or just hungry?

  9. Werewolf

    Another iconic monster throughout history is the werewolf. he is a lean, mean, furry killing machine. naturally terrifying because they surpass humans in sight, smell, and speed. werewolves are the perfect human killing monster. While easy to kill, it is very unlikely that any of the character in Cabin in the Woods had aa silver bullet on hand. However, i believe that like the giant snake and giant tarantula this poor beast is a monster by consequence. He was probably scared and confuse, biting people for self defense rather than malice. In fact he bits a few peope but doesn't kill them. he is like an overgrown puppy dog on a rampage.

  10. The Dolls

    this murderous family of porcelain faced dolls are a shout out to the horror movie Strangers. If these men and women are as merciless as  those serial killers in "Strangers" then anyone in their path is in severe danger. they dont speak in the movie at all, and they walk eerily slowly. We catch a glipse of them on the monitor tying up a group of people. They then proceed to pour gasoline all over thema and set them on fire, alive. The only hope is that these "dolls" are simply human beings under those masks and can be killed themselves.

     

  11. Honorable mention: Merman

    WHile on land this monster is large, slow, and cumbersom. He would be easy to outrun, or even out walk. If you stand far enough away form his mouth while attacking him he would be quite easy to kill. However, inn the water this beast becomes a terrifying threat. Imagine seeing those teeth coming for your throat as it dragged you into the abyss.

So from most scary/ hardest to kill/ and scariest to be killed by the lists is: Fornicus, The Doctors, Sugarplum Fairy, Killer Clown, Killbot, Angry Molesting tree, Dragon Bat, Giant snake/ Giant Tarantula, werewolf, and the dolls. With merman getting an honorable mention.