Top Five Songs That Got It Wrong

Published: March 31, 2014

So many songs could make it onto this list.  I'm going to talk about the ones that have touched my own life.  I encourage everybody out there to make their own lisst.  It isn't likely that you will relate to any of these songs.  They all got it wrong though, so I'm still right.

  1. Vanessa Williams - Save The Best For Last

    Holy S.  Vanessa...get yourself together...I don't know how to tell you this...

    I don't want to bust out with "there's a're last..."  "LISTEN TO YOURSELF!!!"

    "sometimes the snow comes down in june...sometimes the sun goes round the moon....just when i thought our chance had passed..."

    Shit.  Fuck.  Vanessa.

  2. Bobby Goldsboro - Honey

    This is a song about a guy that beats his partner...but then he gets her a puppy...& you want to be really happy..because puppies...but you cant because this person is clearing beating this other person...& holy shit...holy shit @ this whole thing. 

    spolier.  sorry.  he murders her in the end.  He BLATENTLY sings about it!!! :(  It's really, really upsetting.  he still sings this song all over the americas to this day.

    I encourage you to make this your new ring tone.

  3. michael buble - haven't met you yet

    michael, you sound so excited.  i'm excited too.  you're making me excited.  lets dance!!  holy F this song is catchy as garbage!!  i'm going to invite all of my friends over & i'n going to go on a run & i'm going to clean the whole house!!!

    You're Never going to meet her.

  4. ben harper - the drugs don't work

    Ben, as a person who has taught at least 3 DBT classes...the drugs DO work.  They do.  Until they don't.  Please rewrite this entire song to reflect new information.

  5. T. Swift - Teardrops On My Guitar

    "..drew me...can't he tell that i can't breathe??? & there he perfect-ly...the kinda flawless i wish i could be...she better hold him tight...give him all her love..look in those beautiful eyes..& know she's lucky cuuuuz...zzz

    he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar..the only thing that keeps me wishin' on a wishing star.."

    :( i'm wrong about everything. never mind this list.


well. that was rough. but now we know. i think it's really better this way. every single one of these songs was probably your favorite song. we're gonna get through this. sometimes you've just gotta wait til the end. or take some drugs! or cry! or get a puppy. or go eat some hashbrowns. with ketchup. oh my gosh ketchup.